Sometimes there are difficulties with other people. They have their needs. I have my needs. If is kind people, or just sensible people, it's always easy to strick some kind of compromise. But time and again there's zero willingness to move. So they get their needs met while I don't get mine met. In situations like this keeping the peace is stupid. Still, I do it. Maybe an internalized norm?

Simple really, I over think, I get overwhelmed and then get frustrated that others don't think, see or understand the world like I do.

No shoes is fine on the beach - but anywhere else - well that’s not the norm. But why?! I, and my children love going barefoot. You feel connected to ground, free and agile. But barefoot often comes with looks 👀and comments ‘Oh mind they don’t cut their feet!’, ‘Your feet must be freezing!’, ‘Where are your shoes?!’ 😕

When I say 'absolutely alone', I mean that there is no one else in the same house / apartment. If there is someone else around, even if they are in a different room, it's not the same.

I'm allergic to small talk and to meaningless linguistic shortcuts that seem to exist societally to prevent us interacting on a deep and/or emotional level. Especially men.

If I become aware I’m doing it, I try to work out where the rhythm is coming from. It could be the fridge humming or even my own heartbeat. Does that make any sense?

I’m a half glass full sort of human. Full of ideas and trying to be liked. I hate conflict and find it difficult to say no. Sometimes that takes more energy than I have to sustain.

It wraps up intuition - it’s where I am best - but it also comes from sleepwalking and having issues arrive - mental health and off the path career - I blamed myself for not asking morning of my interests and knowing myself - until later in life - sleep waking and asking others to make decisions - but actually it’s time to rely and trust that intuition git wing it more as I do know myself and plan in my own realtime way.

I think I have this habit because it's such a safe and universal way to break the ice and (re)establish a warm relational bond before "getting into it." But still. It drives me crazy.

Capitalist holidays translate into people showing their love with "things" and I often find myself explaining at great lengths why I don't want to receive or give gifts around these occasions.